Last night, after a crazy month in my house, we finally got a chance to turn our minds to Halloween. I know, I know…it’s the day before and we had barely registered that it was coming, never mind carved a pumpkin or made costumes. But still! We wanted to have some semblance of a family night and an opportunity to get excited with our son about the festivities awaiting the next day.
Our little guy is now four years old, and this is the first Halloween he’s anticipated with excitement. Last year, he didn’t really know what it was about. He didn’t really get the whole dressing up thing and wouldn’t ask for for any specific costume; he hesitated with ringing his first couple of door bells (until he realized that every time he did it nice people gave him candy, and then he couldn’t wait to ring every door on the block).
This year, he’s been talking about it for a month. He KNOWS what’s coming.
He had decided sometime in September that he wanted to be a ghost, which is awesome because I like to make his costumes and a better last-minute-throw-together costume I couldn’t have asked for. That said, I still hadn’t made it. They also had carved a pumpkin at preschool, and he’s been asking to carve one at home every day for about a week now. I couldn’t bring myself to do it while in recovery from surgery and Josie’s been working insane hours, but what kind of parents would we be if we went all of October without carving a pumpkin!
So last night, we decided to do ALL THE THINGS. Josie (my wife) left work and picked our son up from preschool. Adam (my boyfriend) picked me up from work, and we headed to the grocery store to buy a pumpkin from the slim pickings still left on sale and some frozen pizzas for dinner. We all met at home and stuck the pizzas in the oven.
On the floor of the dining room, Josie and our son got to work on the pumpkin while I set up at the dining room table with my sewing machine and got to work on the ghost costume. Adam simply sat with us making easy conversation. When the pumpkin was done, we stuck a candle in it and my son went around the apartment turning off all the lights. Adam played with him by making spooky noises when the lights were out. My son tried on his costume one last time to make sure everything was in place and started getting giddy with excitement. Then Josie put him to bed and headed off to work again while Adam and I stayed behind and had a date night together.
It’s such a simple story: a family having a night together in preparation for Halloween. I would even say it’s too boring of a story to be worthwhile for a blog post. But, then again, we’re poly. The fact that it says “my boyfriend” instead of “a close family friend” or “uncle” somehow makes it titillating for some (or dangerous for others). But I wanted to write it because I remember when we first became poly not ever seeing stories like this and I was thirsty for them. I needed to know that we weren’t crazy and that this could be Normal. Simple. Boring.
The fact is that it wouldn’t have been all that different if we weren’t poly. Maybe it would have been a close friend instead of a boyfriend. Maybe it would have just been us and been slightly more harried. Maybe there just wouldn’t have been any spooky noises when the lights went out. But–hey–for me, I hope more and more of my family holidays look like this in the future. Fuller, more complete, closer to my own personal ideal of a home.
So for those of you who need a story like this, Happy Halloween! I wish yours to be as boring and lovely as mine!