I spent the last week biting my tongue. It was a pain, and I sure wish that I could have been more genuine with my family about what is going on in my life. I felt left out sometimes, or that I had to keep myself into this little tiny container so that I didn’t make people uncomfortable. But at least I can say that I knew what the rules were in that situation. Saying nothing is a really stark boundary to try to hold, so it’s easy to know where the line is.
As I was sitting there thinking about the variety of ways I could have talked about polyamory and answered their questions in that situation, I started getting nervous about what the other end of that spectrum would look like. I know that I would be really excited to talk about my relationships with my family. What if I started unknowingly monopolizing conversations, and just boring people to death with the poly parts of my life?
Because I certainly don’t want to be a conversation stopper, or be so tiresome and insipid that people are evacuating. I don’t want to be seen as interjecting poly stuff all the time. I don’t want to live up to the standard poly joke about how you can tell if someone is polyamorous.
I know this worry is coming from being in the closet, and that I will just float into the middle once the gates are opened. But I thought it was weird that I was sitting there, worried about being in the exact opposite of the place I’m in.
Have any of you ever been called out, either understandably or unreasonably, for being that guy? Is that something that you all worry about?