I had dinner last night with Jamie, Caroline’s husband, my wife, and my poly shaman. We went to Home Bistro in Boystown, which is possibly my favorite restaurant in the city. Really good food, BYOB, and the wait staff is amazing.
HB requires an ordering strategy that I don’t encounter in my every day life, especially on prix fixe night. There needs to be enough artichoke edam fritters and almond stuffed bacon dates at the table for everyone. There needs to be enough people eschewing salad for dessert, but not too many that you don’t have enough salad. And entrée decisions turn into a level of trading and bargaining that parallels trying to coordinate poly dates in a calendar. For example, I was going to get the gnocchi and sweet sausage, but got the lamb fettuccine special instead. But I was able to try the gnocchi since Caroline’s husband got it instead, and it was amazing.
I noticed that all of us were more than willing to share what we had ordered with each other, to the point where we were actually pushing our plates at each other and encouraging just another forkfull. And if that isn’t compersion in practice, I’m not sure what it would look like. Comparing plate sharing to lover sharing sounds objectifying, so I don’t think that corollary is quite right. But neither is it isn’t much of a surprise that we were so happy at watching the others at the table enjoy our really good dinners.
And of course there was wine. Probably a bit too much, but not an irresponsible amount. I was able to sit back with a bit of a buzz and watch as my friends and partners chatted and told stories and enjoyed their time with each other. Those are some of the moments that I love most in polyamory. I don’t think they will ever top the tender moments that I get one on one in my relationships, but it is beautiful to know that everyone can get together and love sharing that moment.
I am very lucky to have all of this love and joy and sharing in my life.