There are some pretty standard books out there that get recommended around in the poly community. The Ethical Slut. Sex at Dawn. Any of the Deborah Anapol books. Opening Up, for the coupled poly folks. For some folks (like our Caroline), that can be the first introduction to non-monogamy in a practical sense. For others, it can more concretely pull together ideas that might be floating around.
I haven’t read any of them. I have them sitting in a neat little pile on my desk at home. They’ve been sitting there for nearly two years, collecting all matter of dust, and I’m starting to feel bad.
It’s not that I think I’ve got all of my shit figured out. I know that I have a lot to learn, and there are plenty of mistakes left out there for me to make. I’m sure that there are ideas and concepts in there that I could really use. And there’s a significant chance that I could have avoided a lot of problems simply by having done my background reading first, instead of trying to run off of instincts.
But, especially now, it feels like I’m spending time I’d use to read on managing my relationships. Or, at least that’s what the bullshit reasoning is in there that is keeping me from making a really concerted effort to go back and catch up.
What do you all think? Would it be worth my time?